My Not So Perfect Life
As I sit in a coffee shop, a rare treat to actually sit you understand and not be ‘entertaining’ and doing some ‘colouring in’ whilst attempting a conversation. I mean actually sit and people watch – bliss! I watch the surface actions of lots of Mums, all around me. Meeting and greeting each other, hugs and air kisses, grabbing a coffee – and cake! Chatting away and ‘looking’ like they have the perfect life, to the rest of the world.
But what is the ‘perfect life’? I often have conversations with Mums who feel the stresses and strains of modern parenting, feeling pressurised to be a certain way. Is there a check list of things we should have? Supportive partner, idyllic children, beautiful home, successful career and to be a friend, Aunty, Sister, Daughter and everything else in between? Oh and to look like a millions dollars. There are just not enough hours in the day to achieve it all. Trying to look like the swan, all graceful and gleaming to the rest of the world but scrabbling around with your legs going in 5 different directions under the water that no one can see! Why do we do this to ourselves?
Answer, guilt. We are the generation that feel terrible all the time due to ‘Mum guilt’, we should be only providing organic home cooked food to our weaning child, we must only let them nap at a certain time, we should feed on demand, we must find the best childcare. Routine v. no routine, work v. career break, bottle v. breastfeeding, no wonder your heads are spinning!
When you are at work your thinking of the kids, when you’re with the kids you are thinking of all the chores that need doing, when your meant to be sleeping you are mentally compiling a list of things that have to be done – where did you put the post down this morning, and where is that birthday card that you know you bought!?! And I guarantee in the last 6 months you have either changed the car, moved home, extended your house, changed jobs …… as well as become a parent! Exhaustion doesn’t come close!
So we are proud to say ‘stop’ to this hamster wheel that just speeds up over time. There are only so many hours in the day, and I will prioritise my time with the things that really matter to me. ‘To me’ being the important bit, not everyone else.
If you’ve had a bad night, give your self a break and have a nap when your baby does. Forget the chores, rest – it’s often the thing at the bottom of the list that never gets a look in! Taking a bath, reading a book, an early night … you need to do these to help your sleep quality, aid rest, reduce stress levels and feel better. A clear head will help you achieve more than you thought – if you want to of course!
Mental wellness is just as important to us as physical health – that’s why we offer an open and honest approach to what we do. Never pressurised just us, Mums with Mums. Some of us are just a little more ‘established’ than others. x